Fix Me Up Doc! – Dark Humor Download



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One day, a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he's wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the Devil.

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Devil: Why so glum?

Guy: Why do you think? I'm in hell.

Devil: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?

Guy: Sure I love to drink.

Devil: We'll you're gonna love Mondays, then. We call it Tequila Monday and that's all we do. We drink until we throw up and then we drink some more.

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Guy: Gee, that sounds great.

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Devil: You a smoker?

Guy: You better believe it.

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Devil: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, it's okay...you're already dead!

Guy: No way!

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Devil: I bet you like to gamble.

Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.

Fix Me Up Doc! – Dark Humor Download

Devil: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races; you name it. We've even opened up a Pai Gow poker table.

Guy: Hmmm, I've never played pai gow before ...

Devil: Well now you can. You like to do drugs?

Guy: Yes, I love drugs! You don't mean ...

Devil: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a big bowl of crack. Smoke a doobie the size of your head. You can do all the drugs you want. If you overdose? It's okay! You're already dead!!

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Guy: Yes! I never realized that hell was such a swinging place!!

Devil: So... are you gay?

Guy: Uh, no.

Devil: Ooooh (grimaces), you're gonna HATE Fridays!